2013 2013~

2013 marks another new year + additional numbers to our ID. grr~ Everybody ages, thuuu; who doesn't right ? mmmmm

Well, I had some major revamp on myself reflection.I did some consultation last month and I was pretty awe by the feedback. Its not cheap, but its worth every penny. More or less, I have some ideas now; to how to proceed or kick start the engine but lack the vision at the current time being to really go full force. Its too scattered and I need to narrow it down. Not to mentioned I need funds to sustain before making it a succession to do so. Last year was a blessing, am thankful and grateful but as usual disappointments fuel my life as always till I am pretty numb...dried outta tears.....will repeatedly say, "its ok.." to myself . Every happy moments,  there's something sneaky or shocking that will trigger and hinder my self confidence. I take it as a lesson, something I will always say " let's take this as a lesson and not let it repeat AGAIN ".... I will do it and I will not let this pull me down anymore. There were a few big news which made me pretty much down and upset.I would think again...what was it that made me pity someone or have mercy or even put myself in their shoes, how stupid I was right?... by that, I came up with a new motto... " ... I gave many people chances and care; at the end of the day...WHO really cared about me? and WHO will give me the chance I gave others?!... NONE! so what the Fuck, I will change.... wink* "

My filtering system is on, and only people whom are worthy of it will gain my trust. My trust to others was and had always there for everyone, but many betrayed it.sooo Am I that easy? ...... well stupid no more I am... ;) and I ain't the type to brag about how I treated em counting the credits or greatness, to me, I do it to my ability and all out, its just taken for granted and not well appreciated compared to others...( i was told ) ...rather I would say... god knows and there's something called Karma my dear~

This year I would like to wish my few closed ones, those whom are left in my counting *less than 5* my best wishes and I wish myself, health and a good GO start to IT! Time awaits no one and I will not let it go to waste..of course money plays a critical role and I wish it flows into my life. I wish to meet more new and good friends. Enough of all those whom claims to be my best buddies but does all those hanky panky lies..its enough of punishment, its time to be at the apprentice of good people. May this 2013 be meaningful and the next future years to be filled with happiness. Ganbatte! FIVE~

2012~

To mark it now, today the 16th Feb 2012, its pretty much a fast paced life now. You wake up early, you clock in to work, you have your lovely lunch, clock out @ about 7pm so, have your dinner or cook your dinner, shower, do some homework name it house chores or freelances, sit down to enjoy a few tv clips and go to bed which my time is on an average of 12.30am. That's it! gone 24 hours. I do feel its too fast and to less of a joy to enjoy a days life. What it is that we do that eats up the leisure time? I really question if 24 hours is really enough. I bought my mom airasia tickets to KL last year about 6 months ago, and this Saturday, she will be in town. Gosh...CNY was a month ago. Now its mid-feb. Soon its early March and what have I done lately? Aside from the consistent rush on freelances..(which inevitably cost me a delay whenever there are changes) Cost cheap, changes alot. Ahh...what a trend lately. So What are our values in life? Just this monday I sent out an email to an old friend to seek clearance to his office which costs me being issued now a lawyers letter amounting to $4.5k. Of course I shouldn't be held liable to his debts, rather I need responsibilities from him to settle this and the least he can do is give me a reply. Its not once, but it happened before and as idiotic as he is, he choose to escape and hide as if I were his debt collector. What a great lie he is to my life, using me and pretending to be someone when in actual fact he just needs a shelter over his head. I knew that reason when I choosed to ignore both sides, my ex best buddy and him. Both whom I choosed to walk away from and to leave all sadness behind. I need to move on as it says. But HECK, now where am I and what the heck am I doing? Still figuring what I need to do. Lost at times. Hey , will strive thru it. ;)

June~ 2011

Gosh....I haven't even posted my pics on my korea trip which was about 4 months ago. Well, anyway, I have been pretty much packed lately with office work. Don't seemed to be happy about the workflo assigned lately. What more can I say, nor what more can I complain. Just today when I was asked to do a job, of course we would narrow down the pricing to > ok, what's the price. So of course seeing a high-rise would meant..hmm okla this price. Manatau when I open mouth to quote em, he gave me a " oo " coz when I say "super cheap" he seemed not to agree to it. Sigh.... Just today I saw a 3D done by the outside people hunt down by my bos. I was told they quoted $7k for a night scene with a mere 3days to produce. Thats when I refresh my mind about my job to the other firm. 3days too...and the feedback I got was disapointing. To the fact that they expected marketing level paid @ a peanut price. I tried to calm myself by saying "I'm not up to par" but at times it makes you wonder your value worthy or not in this field. Or shall I say, pure luck. Maybe wealth isn't flowing in nicely last year and this year. Back then, any pricing I quoted was an approved thing. No problems at all. Lately..its just people asking for quotes and comparing hard...I have to go back to my price reviews and mark down my prices to fight with students. Imagine it...people goes up with the pricing, I have to narrow DOWN to suit the price for a freelance and to slash prices to be at the students level. Whats wrong with our country? WHats wrong with clients actually? Half year..and I'm not marking any big fees inputting into my account. So what makes a good joy in living this life? without an income nor freelance...i wouldn't even survive with all the debts hovering around my face. The saying goes, Ups & Downs... hope the downs are over and please elevate me to a different level for I have gone thru alot of struggles not seeing any results which can make me have a peace of mind. Its merely a "thankful" situation that kept me from crumbling in this nasty world. Guess we;ll just have to wait and see whats the spinning wheel of luck can I get. At the mean time, I am thankful for the things I have....just a mere frustrated moment to burp out since its soo hard to actually have a proper chat with anyone lately.omitofot...

Christmas soon, then new year, then another year~

I wish the new year would bring more joy to everybody and all our loved ones. To all who is facing setbacks, I wish your troubles are over and you will find new hope in living this life. To those who are facing greater woes, I wish you speedy recovery and good health, May your life be filled with great people and happiness. I wish everybody a new year and of course a new resolution to exists with joy on this earth. May you remember your humble self and always put your mind to care for those who needs it and stop being selfish. Before we change the world, we've got to change ourself 1st so this little difference in every individual will bring in greater values to humanity. Omitofot be blessed.;) muacks~

heart sweating~

Every now and then, whenever I received any sms'es, my heart begins sweating. FOr I fear the content would be focused on ***'s doing. Yes its true and very much predicted. To add salt to it, receiving the original copy of ***'s sms...aiyo, painful to read. All the granny stories being poured out, 1 shall answer you, "wa boh khiam lu eh aa!" ..... History repeats itself again. This year already twice , soon, nobody will even be bothered about *** or even care anymore. sigh~ Please make *** change and stop doing all this plea and nonsense selfish act. Your prob, you solve your own. God won't help those who sit and whine and blames the whole world as if everybody is at fault. Gosh...

those who speaks only for themselves

Need I not say much or was it that my trust on words were breached by others? I guess lady luck doesn't seemed to fancy me and my family. Its always the opposite to what I have described and always when I am there to enjoy it, its always not as enjoyable as compared to when my presence is not there. hmmm... luck again I may say. I guessed saying I am used to it is a norm, but everytime it will inflict a mini scar to it. Learning to be strong one shall say, I think it should be phrased as " learning to be heartless". Again I have gained a new perspective and I will be firm. I guess I should really shut up and do my things. Words shared at times will always be broken and i wished there is a place called the "complain all you can area" and lash out our anger. The least I know I feel safe and I have no fear that these words will be used agaisnt me in the future shall any friendship be awry. Can I do it? I will try to not speak up and keep words in a blog rather than sharing it to others.Mouth to mouth is worst than reading the exact meaning from the author. anyway have a happy life everybody.

hectic august and hopefully smooth sailing afterwards

Last month was pretty hectic for me. When I am free, I am totally free till I laze around the house feeling down and depressed. August was happy for me as I received 2 job orders , well excited as I am, hey this spells cash~ then when I am there promising acomplishing datelines just to please my new clients, there I have , a bundle of work to rush out for my bosses. Just when you thought, "YES~", there again another big pail of water splashing over me.How are you going to finish up your office work say about 10pm, then go home and rush out the other jobs overnight for the coming 2-3 days. Well that was what I did and I was blown away by all the changes and requirements.....can cry, TIMING TIMING~* at times, live is very much about >luck & timing. If the orientation of these both aligns itself just at the perfect momentum, you get what ppl say "golden opportunity". Oh course its always in the mind ;P hahahahaha But thank god I pulled thru it and of cousrse, I really don't know the outcome from my clients...verdict might be promising or it might be disapointing. Heck, I am used to disapointments lately, so I just goto tell myself, its alright, this one takra, work hard for the next. So because of this, I got myself a new PC and whooping swipe my card ....... adoi card can pecah dy. hahahaha Investment from my side. I will set a target to hibernate...again, I dont dare to plan, just wana stay cool and low and do my things. Being bombarded left and right really left me wounded,its time to heal and time to stay focus. THere's many more to life and I believe it can be done. cheerzz~

big girl liao!

Officially,my little girl has reached her puberty yesterday. Ohhh time flies~ her first experience and she's dull and lethargic. Its not an enjoyable moment and she doesn't want to dirty her lil' lair. The net says 2 long weeks,well,let's hope she can tahan a week being caged and not be a depressed lil chifafa. Sayang her to bitts. Stay healthy my little Yuna.

What to do?~

Never want to lose,
Never says a truthful sorry,
Never want to admit to their own wrong-doings,
Never want to understand how other people felt,
Never want to give but always want to take,
Never want to place their mind into other peoples condition,
Never understand the challenges of others, only will know theirs is the top most challenging compared to others,
Never will they have compassionate on others if theirs is not fulfilled,
Never will they care what others look at them if they want to dramatize in public, but will always laugh at you if you do so, no shame >>
Never know how to take peoples heart but only know how to manjaa* for their own request,
Never respect others but expect others to respect them,
Never listen to others experience but only know how to relate solely theirs and will never have pity on others cause they feel theirs is more painful,
Never see them fork out more than what they have, either pretend they have none or just play dumb,
Never will they want to pity others but expect others to pity them,
Never will they be generous unless its to their own advantage,
Never will they stop to think about their own other halves difficulties in hunting for $$ to feed the family,
Never will they give in to 2nd hand items but only wanted NEW goods and always whine non-stop,
Never will they show their appreciation to you and when they do something so called "GOOD" they want you to remember for life! and never FORGET it or not your doomed!
Never will you want to offend this kind of people because they will always skin you alive in front of everybody you ever known.

I have many more to lists but these are just the fundamentals of a certain kind of individuals in this world. I believe you too have met a few. well, What to do hor~*

too loud~

hahaha officially while I was working, its 12.30am, suddenly my doorbell rang and to my suprise, a guard stood in front. He told me someone complained that the musci was too loud. wow...I am suprised. Maybe cause I opened the window, sliding door, kitchen window and toilet windows that the sound travelled far. Hahahahaha! 1st time ever a sound check. Ok, now its known and I will behave ;) Sorry neighbours~!

stopping~

its June and I goto be determined to stop. Bear in mind that its costly and not bringing any benefit to anybody at all. So June 1,marks it. Be focused and be firm...you can do it!!

just because~

just because I seek it doesnt give you the privellage to misconduct the whole work flow.
just because I seemed desperate doesnt permits you to submit comments on the very last minute and pressurize me on how important the job is.

I am tired of all these architects playing around with workforces like they just don't use any of their mind to check and monitor their OWN shit and pass it on to others like nobody's business. Whats the culture coming to? simply do things just to get it done and charge on high rates. while we are being paid cheaply?? Whats is this malaysian culture of not wanting to fight thru the fog and wants easy bite to feed on? all also want a big slice of the pie. everytime things will be marked up by 30% just to feed them for not DOING their work. Its no longer a sincere collaboration but rather just a cheap labour on this end that caters to their very need just because we are desperate. Its unfair....unfair.....

when you look up to the skies~

when u stare up to the wide blue sky, what's etched on your mind? the world is so huge and big....and its a lonely planet....namingly we have solar systems but we're the only planet thats breeding life forms and humans that can type nonsense just like me ;) I always think, whats so great about money, whats so great about friendship and whats so great about love.....critically speaking, whats really good nowadays? hmmm....i think health and happiness is the greatest pair to be blessed with....

given any chance again......i only want ............

May bangkok resume its peace

slow down~

business has been slow lately. felt abit pitiful, but can't let this pithiness drag me down. still as always counter thinking ways and means to attract cash ;) goto refresh reading my book again ;) cheers everyone, everyday is a good day!

the power of the mind~

I feel happy seeing her positive energy. There's nobody in this world I have met who can bounce up so fast like her. Given any humans, they would need time to step up and face the world. I respect her courage and her strong will to fight it. I have learned from her that we can smile too from all this with a powerful mind. Day by day, I capture many events, stories and happy moments, it enlightens me and I greatly appreciate buddha's blessing. Thank you for teaching me something new again and cherish those whom I've truely feel are friends in my heart.

humanity

Off recently, just last friday april 30th, i received a news about a collegue. it was a sad news. I couldnt brush it off from my mind thinking that humans are fragile and we can't predict the future. Its nobody's words agaisnt what's already stated in our lifeline. Yes its intriguing to actually barge into that person's house and say comforting words. its not an easy task nor is it easy for the victim to face it. To my suprise, I thought I was feeling sad over the incident and wouldnt want to comment more about it but there are people who can talk about it so casually, when i was thinking she was actually on the intention of caring towards that person. The way she spoke reminded me of my dad's situation where people would just come and say, "he's fat, he didnt eat right, he's this~ he did tat wrong..." bla bla bla... she said that this victim was amongst the risk factor group and she didnt eat the proper way...I was like, come on! anybody can be at risks, anybody can be a victim, it doesnt necessarily spell a must she's at those group that she must fall under threat of being a victim. In my mind, these people have never faced these situations amongst their own family members thats why their verbal use of words are sooo easy & brainless. In my dad's case, my dad was healthy and in good condition but it just happened. Shit just happens. It can happen to anyone...nobody could predict.... a good healthy person can too fall into the category. Don't start judging people and please be humble towards the victim. Being a critical person towards the victim is unfair because you are alright and you never think about the person's feelings. Shut up and do what's necessary, can't do anything, just shut up. I now see a clearer picture and the type of people inside this place. yucks ;P the boundary is on....i wish i meet more people like mr. ip man or even have a hubby like him. akakakaka....alas, omitofot and god bless....

I found this article on daily uk online. The current state of the volcanic eruptions in Iceland is pretty serious which might actually affect the entire world in the late future. With this, It made me think about the blessings we are showered with. Omitofot..... is it true about 2012? will humans sit back and rethink about the hectic dog fight life we are living in and slow down for a second to cherish mother nautre more~

Here are some facts that enlightened me >>

How long will the volcano remain active?
The simple answer is: No one knows. The last time Eyjafjallokull erupted, in December 1821, it did so for 13 months. Most eruptions of this type are self-limiting; eventually, the volcano literally runs out of steam.
But eruptions lasting months or even years are not unknown. If it keeps erupting - and the winds keep blowing our way - planes could be grounded for the foreseeable future.

Why have the effects been so severe?
Although Eyjafjallokull is not particularly large, and this is not a particularly violent eruption, its volcanic fissures lie under a thick slab of glacial ice, and it is the explosive interaction between the 1,500c lava, the pressurised gases it contains, and the ice which has resulted in such a massive column of ash and smoke, stretching 30,000ft

Can anything be done about it?
In short, no. We will have to wait for nature to run its course. What's more, after initial hopes that the eruption was easing off, the volcano seems to have found renewed vigour.
The real danger is that the eruption, and the associated earthquakes (about one every 40 seconds), will set off the larger, neighbouring.The last major eruption of Katla, in 1918, was ten times larger than this eruption of Eyjafjallokull. Vulcanologists believe the dust cloud from such an event would stretch 14 miles into the sky and persist for months.

Are they the only ones in trouble?
Around all Britain's airports, firms employ tens of thousands of people to clean, refuel and service the planes, to cook the in-flight meals, man the car parks, drive the taxis, staff the hotels and serve coffee and meals.
A week or two will result in manageable losses; if Britain is still grounded in a month, expect lay-offs and closures. If Eyjafjallokull is still erupting in six months then the effect on one of our most successful industries will be catastrophic. African farmers who rely on air-freighted exports to Europe will be hit hardest of all; in Kenya this weekend 400 tons of flowers had to be destroyed.

How has the insurance industry reacted?
Badly, according to many of its customers. A million Britons have been stranded abroad, and the holiday plans of millions more are in jeopardy, but many travel insurance firms have refused to compensate them because their policies often state they do not cover natural disasters.
Virgin Money and Greenbee, the financial services arm of the John Lewis Partnership, have said customers will not be able to claim.

What about food supplies?

Imports of foreign foods such as Kenyan beans and mangetout, Thai mangoes, Tanzanian flowers, Israeli fruit and so on will cease as long as the flight ban continues.

What other effects are there?
The worlds of sport, academia and big business have all been affected by the flight ban.
The organisers of next weekend's London Marathon are looking into the logistics of getting the elite runners to Britain overland.
Many university lecturers are stranded abroad ahead of the summer term and Cambridge University has already postponed its oral language exams due to take place this week because so many academics and students may not be able to get home.
And hundreds of schools across the country could also be forced to cancel crucial GCSEs and A-levels as the ash cloud prevents pupils returning home to take them.

RM100 cash vouchers??

Goto go home and start hunting, just this morning I searched my bag for the envelope only to find its not there as I expected it to be! Its a redemption from my HSBC card usage, eventough its free but RM100, I could have myself purchasing either a fan or a vacum. Gosh~ I hope its stashed inside my magazine at home...if not..then I think RM100 is again attached with wings...hmm where is it??!

please go away bad vibes

Like flies, this things always visits and interupts my life like I am a pile of smelly dung*, automatically sucking my positive vibes away and feeding on me. Pure irritation.... These flies, please ward away and don't even thought about spanning your negativity onto me or even others~ keep it all to yourself ;) or find other bad people to inhabit....

Well I ain't any dung* no more, shooo shoo go away bad vibes for I am transforming into a useful fertilizer and seeping thru to enhance growth & to sprout life to form other positive vibes. Enough is enough for I shall not tolerate anymore demands but shall only forget it and do what I can as I will never encourage your presence no more. Go away, drift away, even vanish away from our lives. Don't sow your life with accepting bad vibes, rather, just let it be learnt and forgotten as the pain will always cling onto your life if you do not choose to let it go. ~ Pergi jauh jauh yaa~