2012~

To mark it now, today the 16th Feb 2012, its pretty much a fast paced life now. You wake up early, you clock in to work, you have your lovely lunch, clock out @ about 7pm so, have your dinner or cook your dinner, shower, do some homework name it house chores or freelances, sit down to enjoy a few tv clips and go to bed which my time is on an average of 12.30am. That's it! gone 24 hours. I do feel its too fast and to less of a joy to enjoy a days life. What it is that we do that eats up the leisure time? I really question if 24 hours is really enough. I bought my mom airasia tickets to KL last year about 6 months ago, and this Saturday, she will be in town. Gosh...CNY was a month ago. Now its mid-feb. Soon its early March and what have I done lately? Aside from the consistent rush on freelances..(which inevitably cost me a delay whenever there are changes) Cost cheap, changes alot. Ahh...what a trend lately. So What are our values in life? Just this monday I sent out an email to an old friend to seek clearance to his office which costs me being issued now a lawyers letter amounting to $4.5k. Of course I shouldn't be held liable to his debts, rather I need responsibilities from him to settle this and the least he can do is give me a reply. Its not once, but it happened before and as idiotic as he is, he choose to escape and hide as if I were his debt collector. What a great lie he is to my life, using me and pretending to be someone when in actual fact he just needs a shelter over his head. I knew that reason when I choosed to ignore both sides, my ex best buddy and him. Both whom I choosed to walk away from and to leave all sadness behind. I need to move on as it says. But HECK, now where am I and what the heck am I doing? Still figuring what I need to do. Lost at times. Hey , will strive thru it. ;)

June~ 2011

Gosh....I haven't even posted my pics on my korea trip which was about 4 months ago. Well, anyway, I have been pretty much packed lately with office work. Don't seemed to be happy about the workflo assigned lately. What more can I say, nor what more can I complain. Just today when I was asked to do a job, of course we would narrow down the pricing to > ok, what's the price. So of course seeing a high-rise would meant..hmm okla this price. Manatau when I open mouth to quote em, he gave me a " oo " coz when I say "super cheap" he seemed not to agree to it. Sigh.... Just today I saw a 3D done by the outside people hunt down by my bos. I was told they quoted $7k for a night scene with a mere 3days to produce. Thats when I refresh my mind about my job to the other firm. 3days too...and the feedback I got was disapointing. To the fact that they expected marketing level paid @ a peanut price. I tried to calm myself by saying "I'm not up to par" but at times it makes you wonder your value worthy or not in this field. Or shall I say, pure luck. Maybe wealth isn't flowing in nicely last year and this year. Back then, any pricing I quoted was an approved thing. No problems at all. Lately..its just people asking for quotes and comparing hard...I have to go back to my price reviews and mark down my prices to fight with students. Imagine it...people goes up with the pricing, I have to narrow DOWN to suit the price for a freelance and to slash prices to be at the students level. Whats wrong with our country? WHats wrong with clients actually? Half year..and I'm not marking any big fees inputting into my account. So what makes a good joy in living this life? without an income nor freelance...i wouldn't even survive with all the debts hovering around my face. The saying goes, Ups & Downs... hope the downs are over and please elevate me to a different level for I have gone thru alot of struggles not seeing any results which can make me have a peace of mind. Its merely a "thankful" situation that kept me from crumbling in this nasty world. Guess we;ll just have to wait and see whats the spinning wheel of luck can I get. At the mean time, I am thankful for the things I have....just a mere frustrated moment to burp out since its soo hard to actually have a proper chat with anyone lately.omitofot...

Christmas soon, then new year, then another year~

I wish the new year would bring more joy to everybody and all our loved ones. To all who is facing setbacks, I wish your troubles are over and you will find new hope in living this life. To those who are facing greater woes, I wish you speedy recovery and good health, May your life be filled with great people and happiness. I wish everybody a new year and of course a new resolution to exists with joy on this earth. May you remember your humble self and always put your mind to care for those who needs it and stop being selfish. Before we change the world, we've got to change ourself 1st so this little difference in every individual will bring in greater values to humanity. Omitofot be blessed.;) muacks~

heart sweating~

Every now and then, whenever I received any sms'es, my heart begins sweating. FOr I fear the content would be focused on ***'s doing. Yes its true and very much predicted. To add salt to it, receiving the original copy of ***'s sms...aiyo, painful to read. All the granny stories being poured out, 1 shall answer you, "wa boh khiam lu eh aa!" ..... History repeats itself again. This year already twice , soon, nobody will even be bothered about *** or even care anymore. sigh~ Please make *** change and stop doing all this plea and nonsense selfish act. Your prob, you solve your own. God won't help those who sit and whine and blames the whole world as if everybody is at fault. Gosh...

those who speaks only for themselves

Need I not say much or was it that my trust on words were breached by others? I guess lady luck doesn't seemed to fancy me and my family. Its always the opposite to what I have described and always when I am there to enjoy it, its always not as enjoyable as compared to when my presence is not there. hmmm... luck again I may say. I guessed saying I am used to it is a norm, but everytime it will inflict a mini scar to it. Learning to be strong one shall say, I think it should be phrased as " learning to be heartless". Again I have gained a new perspective and I will be firm. I guess I should really shut up and do my things. Words shared at times will always be broken and i wished there is a place called the "complain all you can area" and lash out our anger. The least I know I feel safe and I have no fear that these words will be used agaisnt me in the future shall any friendship be awry. Can I do it? I will try to not speak up and keep words in a blog rather than sharing it to others.Mouth to mouth is worst than reading the exact meaning from the author. anyway have a happy life everybody.