2013 2013~

2013 marks another new year + additional numbers to our ID. grr~ Everybody ages, thuuu; who doesn't right ? mmmmm

Well, I had some major revamp on myself reflection.I did some consultation last month and I was pretty awe by the feedback. Its not cheap, but its worth every penny. More or less, I have some ideas now; to how to proceed or kick start the engine but lack the vision at the current time being to really go full force. Its too scattered and I need to narrow it down. Not to mentioned I need funds to sustain before making it a succession to do so. Last year was a blessing, am thankful and grateful but as usual disappointments fuel my life as always till I am pretty numb...dried outta tears.....will repeatedly say, "its ok.." to myself . Every happy moments,  there's something sneaky or shocking that will trigger and hinder my self confidence. I take it as a lesson, something I will always say " let's take this as a lesson and not let it repeat AGAIN ".... I will do it and I will not let this pull me down anymore. There were a few big news which made me pretty much down and upset.I would think again...what was it that made me pity someone or have mercy or even put myself in their shoes, how stupid I was right?... by that, I came up with a new motto... " ... I gave many people chances and care; at the end of the day...WHO really cared about me? and WHO will give me the chance I gave others?!... NONE! so what the Fuck, I will change.... wink* "

My filtering system is on, and only people whom are worthy of it will gain my trust. My trust to others was and had always there for everyone, but many betrayed it.sooo Am I that easy? ...... well stupid no more I am... ;) and I ain't the type to brag about how I treated em counting the credits or greatness, to me, I do it to my ability and all out, its just taken for granted and not well appreciated compared to others...( i was told ) ...rather I would say... god knows and there's something called Karma my dear~

This year I would like to wish my few closed ones, those whom are left in my counting *less than 5* my best wishes and I wish myself, health and a good GO start to IT! Time awaits no one and I will not let it go to waste..of course money plays a critical role and I wish it flows into my life. I wish to meet more new and good friends. Enough of all those whom claims to be my best buddies but does all those hanky panky lies..its enough of punishment, its time to be at the apprentice of good people. May this 2013 be meaningful and the next future years to be filled with happiness. Ganbatte! FIVE~

2012~

To mark it now, today the 16th Feb 2012, its pretty much a fast paced life now. You wake up early, you clock in to work, you have your lovely lunch, clock out @ about 7pm so, have your dinner or cook your dinner, shower, do some homework name it house chores or freelances, sit down to enjoy a few tv clips and go to bed which my time is on an average of 12.30am. That's it! gone 24 hours. I do feel its too fast and to less of a joy to enjoy a days life. What it is that we do that eats up the leisure time? I really question if 24 hours is really enough. I bought my mom airasia tickets to KL last year about 6 months ago, and this Saturday, she will be in town. Gosh...CNY was a month ago. Now its mid-feb. Soon its early March and what have I done lately? Aside from the consistent rush on freelances..(which inevitably cost me a delay whenever there are changes) Cost cheap, changes alot. Ahh...what a trend lately. So What are our values in life? Just this monday I sent out an email to an old friend to seek clearance to his office which costs me being issued now a lawyers letter amounting to $4.5k. Of course I shouldn't be held liable to his debts, rather I need responsibilities from him to settle this and the least he can do is give me a reply. Its not once, but it happened before and as idiotic as he is, he choose to escape and hide as if I were his debt collector. What a great lie he is to my life, using me and pretending to be someone when in actual fact he just needs a shelter over his head. I knew that reason when I choosed to ignore both sides, my ex best buddy and him. Both whom I choosed to walk away from and to leave all sadness behind. I need to move on as it says. But HECK, now where am I and what the heck am I doing? Still figuring what I need to do. Lost at times. Hey , will strive thru it. ;)

June~ 2011

Gosh....I haven't even posted my pics on my korea trip which was about 4 months ago. Well, anyway, I have been pretty much packed lately with office work. Don't seemed to be happy about the workflo assigned lately. What more can I say, nor what more can I complain. Just today when I was asked to do a job, of course we would narrow down the pricing to > ok, what's the price. So of course seeing a high-rise would meant..hmm okla this price. Manatau when I open mouth to quote em, he gave me a " oo " coz when I say "super cheap" he seemed not to agree to it. Sigh.... Just today I saw a 3D done by the outside people hunt down by my bos. I was told they quoted $7k for a night scene with a mere 3days to produce. Thats when I refresh my mind about my job to the other firm. 3days too...and the feedback I got was disapointing. To the fact that they expected marketing level paid @ a peanut price. I tried to calm myself by saying "I'm not up to par" but at times it makes you wonder your value worthy or not in this field. Or shall I say, pure luck. Maybe wealth isn't flowing in nicely last year and this year. Back then, any pricing I quoted was an approved thing. No problems at all. Lately..its just people asking for quotes and comparing hard...I have to go back to my price reviews and mark down my prices to fight with students. Imagine it...people goes up with the pricing, I have to narrow DOWN to suit the price for a freelance and to slash prices to be at the students level. Whats wrong with our country? WHats wrong with clients actually? Half year..and I'm not marking any big fees inputting into my account. So what makes a good joy in living this life? without an income nor freelance...i wouldn't even survive with all the debts hovering around my face. The saying goes, Ups & Downs... hope the downs are over and please elevate me to a different level for I have gone thru alot of struggles not seeing any results which can make me have a peace of mind. Its merely a "thankful" situation that kept me from crumbling in this nasty world. Guess we;ll just have to wait and see whats the spinning wheel of luck can I get. At the mean time, I am thankful for the things I have....just a mere frustrated moment to burp out since its soo hard to actually have a proper chat with anyone lately.omitofot...

Christmas soon, then new year, then another year~

I wish the new year would bring more joy to everybody and all our loved ones. To all who is facing setbacks, I wish your troubles are over and you will find new hope in living this life. To those who are facing greater woes, I wish you speedy recovery and good health, May your life be filled with great people and happiness. I wish everybody a new year and of course a new resolution to exists with joy on this earth. May you remember your humble self and always put your mind to care for those who needs it and stop being selfish. Before we change the world, we've got to change ourself 1st so this little difference in every individual will bring in greater values to humanity. Omitofot be blessed.;) muacks~

heart sweating~

Every now and then, whenever I received any sms'es, my heart begins sweating. FOr I fear the content would be focused on ***'s doing. Yes its true and very much predicted. To add salt to it, receiving the original copy of ***'s sms...aiyo, painful to read. All the granny stories being poured out, 1 shall answer you, "wa boh khiam lu eh aa!" ..... History repeats itself again. This year already twice , soon, nobody will even be bothered about *** or even care anymore. sigh~ Please make *** change and stop doing all this plea and nonsense selfish act. Your prob, you solve your own. God won't help those who sit and whine and blames the whole world as if everybody is at fault. Gosh...